How'd They Get Those Two Together!

Ella - Marilyn

Anna Magnani - Joan Crawford

Bette - Shirley

Rita Hayworth - Marlene Dietrich

Claudette Colbert - Alfred Hitchcock

Marilyn - Dietrich

Jayne Mansfield - Joan Collins

Mary Pickford - Female Impersonator Julian Eltinge

Vivien Leigh - Marilyn Monroe

Actors And Other Animals - Part 3

It's a dog's life!

Chihuahua and Marilyn play ball.  Who's on first?

 

Oliver Reed teaches doggie not to mind the food-hat.

Jayne Mansfield making music that only dogs should can hear.

Paul Robeson's dog enjoys his master's voice

Lena Horne looking as cute as an armload of puppies.

The Girls...

Jayne Mansfield, Liza Minnelli, Mitzi Gaynor and Kaye Ballard

...Wish you a happy Monday!!!

Mother Mansfield

Our Jayne looks positively, glowingly radiant as she prepares, in anticipation, for the arrival of Mr. Stork who will bring Mickey Jr.

Another Lethal Night With Jayne

Once again the beautiful and glamorous Donna Lethal opened up the Lethal House to a happy band of misfits hungry for pizza and monstrous movie malfeasance.  I am happy to report that all and sundry were more than satisfied -- on both counts.

The feature was called, "Dog Eat Dog" starring Jayne Mansfield and Cameron Mitchell.

What, really can one say about a nymphomaniacal, jiggling, over-ripe sex bomb(ed) with dead-Barbie hair whose favorite term for exclamation is "Crackers!"?  As in, "Crackers, you're cute!" or "Well crackers, what'd you expect?"  The word is, in fact, so overused that it has, no doubt, instigated it's own drinking game on certain lower renown campuses.

There's really no point in going into the plot as this would only dignify a falsehood that there was one.  You really only need to know that:  a.)  There were 3 listed (and apparently a forth uncredited) directors.  b.) Cameron Mitchell has a few extended scenes in which he destroys the contents of entire furnished rooms as though his very life depended on it.  c.)  With so many directors, continuity isn't, well, continuous.  Scratches, bruises and black eyes appear, disappear and reappear with regularity.  d.)  There is a very lovely girl fight between Jayne's character, Darlene, and one of the other actresses.  and e.) It's so wonderfully bad that serious discussion was entered into last night on the subject of doing a staged reading of it.  (Let me be clear that I will take no part in this unless I'm awarded the role of Madame Benoit.)

What more do you need to know before ordering your own copy.

Alright I'll treat you with one of the more unforgettable bits of dialog.

Darlene (to boyfried, he of the maniacal laugh):  Right now, I'd settle for a fresh lipstick and a new pair of panties in Teaneck, New Jersey!"  (crackers!)

Please Forgive The Interruption

This Saturday a few neighbors and myself are having a large group yard sale.  Until this festive event is over, I will be busy gathering, tidying, sprucing, pricing, tagging and selling.  I wish you could all come, I know I'm selling some fabulous things and I'm told the others are too.

If you are in the Hollywood area and want to come by Sat. the 20th 9am - 3pm, send me an email and I'll give you the address.


Meanwhile have a relaxing weekend everyone.

Oh What A Night!

I'm still on the psychic and psychological mend from last nights festivities.

The Place:  The Lethal House.

The Hosts:  Donna Lethal and Little Lord Chesteroy.

The Menu:  Pizza (two pies! one cheese, one pepperoni.) Chocolate and Vanilla Cupcakes with Mansfield-Pink sprinkles on top.

The Event:  Gala Screening of "The Wild Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield".

 

The Guest List:  (in alphabetical order)

Dave Ehrlich of the blogs:  Monstruos Calientes, A Charles A Day, and Eat This Grenade!

Mark  (Pantheon Zeus) contributor of Celluloid Slammer and Douchebag or No Douchebag.

Scott Michaels of Find A Death and Find A Grave.  And when you come to LA, you must take his 

Dearly Departed tour.

Lawrence Snelly wonderful artist.

and me.

About the film, I can't say it any better Something Weird, the company that puts out the DVD:

Look out world, it's Jayne's planet and she's on the prowl in The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, a mondo-style celebration of all things Mansfield and, hands down, The Single Most Inane (and Insane) Documentary Ever Made! With footage of Jayne shot circa 1964, augmented with her bare-breasted nude scenes from Promises, Promises, padded out with such hilariously faked non-Jayne footage as goofy gays on the streets of Paris and the L.A. "topless craze!" and capped off with a ghoulish ending so colossally wrong that it can still make audiences gasp, this combination travelogue / cinematic acid trip is so loony tunes that it's practically legendary. "Hi, I'm Jayne Mansfield!" says a breathless soundalike since Jayne was quite dead by the time this was assembled. "For the next couple of hours, I'd like you to come along with me! I want you to share some of the wild way-out experiences I had during my last trip around the world!" See: Jayne strutting around Rome and being surrounded by MICKEY HARGITAY and other musclemen at the Park of Gladiators: "I would have given anything to have been at an ancient Roman party! Most of the time they turned into orgies!" See: Jayne in a fountain at the Cannes Film Festival: "Oh, what a girl has to do for her career!" See: Jayne visiting the nudist colony at the Isle of Levant and splashing in water like a damn fool: "l hope nobody sees me like this! It's alright for a movie but not in real life!" Real life? Real Life???!!!

Our favorite parts were too many to mention but here is a shot of  Jayne and her dirty finger nails.

 

And a second later, SHE PUTS THEM IN HER MOUTH!

Listen, I love Jayne but she was a mess.  And this movie is messier.  A good time was truly had by all!

Jaynie's Big Pink.....Palace.

Let's all tag along with those pesky photographers as Jayne Mansfield takes us on a tour of her house! 
Though typically shy, she's letting the cameras in just this once.  As she recently noted, “Publicity has always come to me. I haven’t gone to it, but I’ve been cooperative.”  What a trouper!

No uniformed maid or butler for our Jaynie, she answers the door herself (she's so regular) and, if you can believe it, apologizes for her apeance!  She said she had just gotten home herself, from a full day of PTA meetings and her volunteer work.  She excused herself to freshen up as the lens man snapped her heading up stairs.  She tells us that she finds all those framed magazine covers of her terribly embarrassing and asks us to make our selves at home.  It wasn't until I saw the photo some weeks later that I realized just what an incredible Actress she is.  To look at her you'd think she actually likes those pictures going up the stairs.  Boy, what a talent.

We had no sooner settled in the tasteful living room when, Surprise!  Jaynie appears on the vestibule looking just swell.  It was then that I saw, first hand, that even picking up chihuahua doo-doo can be glamorous if you dress for it!

It's a lucky gal that gets a handsome guy, and Jaynie's shining knight is a Mr. Mickey Hargitay.  He is a foreigner and rather difficult to understand, but he's very nice and very devoted to little Jayne.  Here they are in the 'office' sharing the kind of domestic monthly chore we all face:  paying the household bills.  I guess it's not all glamor all the time!

After such a long and busy day, nothing relaxes and refreshes a girl like a long, hot bath.  Finally, with all the days responsibilities finished, it time for a little girl talk.  Gotta get caught up on the latest gossip, right Jaynie?