Felix In Hollywood

A Blog for the Smart Set

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oh What A Night!

I'm still on the psychic and psychological mend from last nights festivities.

The Place:  The Lethal House.

The Hosts:  Donna Lethal and Little Lord Chesteroy.

The Menu:  Pizza (two pies! one cheese, one pepperoni.) Chocolate and Vanilla Cupcakes with Mansfield-Pink sprinkles on top.

The Event:  Gala Screening of "The Wild Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield".


The Guest List:  (in alphabetical order)

Dave Ehrlich of the blogs:  Monstruos Calientes, A Charles A Day, and Eat This Grenade!

Mark  (Pantheon Zeus) contributor of Celluloid Slammer and Douchebag or No Douchebag.

Scott Michaels of Find A Death and Find A Grave.  And when you come to LA, you must take his 

Lawrence Snelly wonderful artist.

and me.

About the film, I can't say it any better Something Weird, the company that puts out the DVD:

Look out world, it's Jayne's planet and she's on the prowl in The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, a mondo-style celebration of all things Mansfield and, hands down, The Single Most Inane (and Insane) Documentary Ever Made! With footage of Jayne shot circa 1964, augmented with her bare-breasted nude scenes from Promises, Promises, padded out with such hilariously faked non-Jayne footage as goofy gays on the streets of Paris and the L.A. "topless craze!" and capped off with a ghoulish ending so colossally wrong that it can still make audiences gasp, this combination travelogue / cinematic acid trip is so loony tunes that it's practically legendary. "Hi, I'm Jayne Mansfield!" says a breathless soundalike since Jayne was quite dead by the time this was assembled. "For the next couple of hours, I'd like you to come along with me! I want you to share some of the wild way-out experiences I had during my last trip around the world!" See: Jayne strutting around Rome and being surrounded by MICKEY HARGITAY and other musclemen at the Park of Gladiators: "I would have given anything to have been at an ancient Roman party! Most of the time they turned into orgies!" See: Jayne in a fountain at the Cannes Film Festival: "Oh, what a girl has to do for her career!" See: Jayne visiting the nudist colony at the Isle of Levant and splashing in water like a damn fool: "l hope nobody sees me like this! It's alright for a movie but not in real life!" Real life? Real Life???!!!

Our favorite parts were too many to mention but here is a shot of  Jayne and her dirty finger nails.


And a second later, SHE PUTS THEM IN HER MOUTH!

Listen, I love Jayne but she was a mess.  And this movie is messier.  A good time was truly had by all!


kabuki zero said...

I feel I must defend Ms. Mansfield. What you watched was ART. ART is not for everybody. Many times the common man does not get it. And the dirty fingers? ACTING! Because you can't have one without the other. Now I have to go find a copy. I am sure I will treasure it.

Pantheon Zeus said...

I'm loving your blog by the way.

Janis J. meets Gloria S. rocked my world.

until next time ~~


FelixInHollywood said...

Kabuki (trust me) I thought of you the whole time. It's as though you could've been creative consultant on this film!

Eve said...

I am DYING of jealousy that I was not there. After all, "dwarves and midgets need entertainment, too!"

Donna Lethal said...

It's my solemn duty to preach The Holy Gospel According to Jayne!

jason said...

I work on the very highway she was killed on, I do believe...I think about her every day.

normadesmond said...

look where sucking on dirty fingernails gets you.

mrpeenee said...

I am giddy with jealousy, I shall go soil my fingernails now.

Howie Pyro said...

i wasn't invited?????

MJ said...

I await the release of "The Wild Wild World Of kabuki zero"

Donna Lethal said...

Howie - it was an "initiate" party, though HE IS RESPONSIBLE for showing me this movie, back in 1986. I was never the same.

Oh we forgot to mention - Zeus made Jayne bingo cards with words like "boo lou," "heliopolis," "fish," etc.

PS. My word verif is "tymal" ... Is that one of my meds?