Once again the beautiful and glamorous Donna Lethal opened up the Lethal House to a happy band of misfits hungry for pizza and monstrous movie malfeasance. I am happy to report that all and sundry were more than satisfied -- on both counts.
The feature was called, "Dog Eat Dog" starring Jayne Mansfield and Cameron Mitchell.
What, really can one say about a nymphomaniacal, jiggling, over-ripe sex bomb(ed) with dead-Barbie hair whose favorite term for exclamation is "Crackers!"? As in, "Crackers, you're cute!" or "Well crackers, what'd you expect?" The word is, in fact, so overused that it has, no doubt, instigated it's own drinking game on certain lower renown campuses.
There's really no point in going into the plot as this would only dignify a falsehood that there was one. You really only need to know that: a.) There were 3 listed (and apparently a forth uncredited) directors. b.) Cameron Mitchell has a few extended scenes in which he destroys the contents of entire furnished rooms as though his very life depended on it. c.) With so many directors, continuity isn't, well, continuous. Scratches, bruises and black eyes appear, disappear and reappear with regularity. d.) There is a very lovely girl fight between Jayne's character, Darlene, and one of the other actresses. and e.) It's so wonderfully bad that serious discussion was entered into last night on the subject of doing a staged reading of it. (Let me be clear that I will take no part in this unless I'm awarded the role of Madame Benoit.)
What more do you need to know before ordering your own copy.
Alright I'll treat you with one of the more unforgettable bits of dialog.
Darlene (to boyfried, he of the maniacal laugh): Right now, I'd settle for a fresh lipstick and a new pair of panties in Teaneck, New Jersey!" (crackers!)