Felix In Hollywood

A Blog for the Smart Set

Monday, July 5, 2010

BFF! Forever And Ever. The Birth Of Felix.


As you may be aware, my real name is Philip, not Felix.  Felix is a nickname that I was given about a dozen years ago.  More on that in a minute.

But first, there are a couple of things of which I'm certain:

1.  One is lucky to have one great love in their lifetime.  I haven't experienced this.

2.  One is blessed to have one great best friendship in their lifetime.  I'd like to introduce you to mine.

Actually, some of you are already going to know him.  Some of you may have grown up with him.  Some of you may have even sighed over pictures of him in Tiger Beat!

Chad Allen is a ridiculously talented Actor and Producer as well as a Political and Social Rights Activist.  He is also an intellectual, a marine biology student, a certified diver, a geek, (he still has his childhood collection of agate rocks and rock polisher) a relentless and kind mentor, a terrific boyfriend to an amazing boyfriend, the best maker of Italian red sauce I've ever tasted, and my best friend.

When we were first introduced, I certainly didn't see the material that would make a friendship to last a lifetime.  There were just too many differences.  I was 15 years older than him.  Starting to work at five years old, he never had a childhood, while I was given one that I never wanted.  I was all East Coast sensibilities and he was total California boy.  We had a long talk that day and many more in the days that followed and discovered, that actually there were far more similarities than differences.

We have seen each other through the very best and the very worst that life has served us.  There is an energy that is kicked up when we are in each others company that is apparently quite extraordinary.  A very wise man once said to me, "If you want truly amazing relationships, treat your lovers more like friends and your friends more like lovers."  Our friendship has put that theory into action.  It was with him that I first learned that a platonic friendship can have romance!

Like any worthwhile relationship we've had a few (actually, very few) fights that were doozies.
The one that I'll always remember above all others happened about 10 years ago.  We had met at an event one evening, arriving separately.  When we were leaving, we got into it over something, (of course I can't remember what it was about) and by the time we got to the parking lot we were at fever pitch;  yelling and screaming and saying the horrible things you will only say to those you love the most.  We reached my car first, exchanged our especially cruel and beautifully timed exit lines, and he stormed  off down the parking lot to his truck.  I hopped into my '86 Caddy, yanked it into drive, stomped on the gas and AIMED FOR HIM!!!  

The little fucker is fast, let me tell you.  It wasn't long afterward that we were cracking up about it and relating the story to friends.

Oh, yeah, about the whole Felix thing. So about 5-6 years before I met Chad, there was a hot minute where painted jeans were the rage.  A friend of mine was making and selling them and doing quite well.  One day he offered to do a pair for me.  I told him that I didn't know what I wanted on them and he said to leave it up to him, he'd come up with the perfect thing for my personality.

I wore 'em a couple of times, people thought they were kinda cool.  Shut up.  Every once in a blue moon, when I was feeling particularly ridiculous, I'd pull them out and wear them.  There was a blue moon one day about 6 weeks after I'd met Chad and I had them on.  This was during a period of his life when he felt it was his duty to give everyone he knew a nickname.  He saw me, his eyes went wide and he said, "FELIX, THAT'S A GREAT NAME FOR YOU! FELIX! THAT'S YOUR NAME!"  It was cute.   For about a day.  I asked him to stop.  Ever the rascally contrarian, (if there's ever something you want him to do - just ask him not to do it) he wouldn't.

I finally reached the point of 'when in Rome' and started calling him Felix right back.  So here we are now, Felix and Felix to each other.  And somehow I've become an unwitting collector of Felix-inalia.  And there's something else too, that I'm not quite sure how to put into words.  As time has passed, 'Felix' has come to embody an idea that I try to live up to.  It's the idea of my personhood that lives in Chad's mind; the me that he sees.  And 'Felix' is much wiser, finer, stronger, kinder and calmer than I ever thought Philip could be.

Today is a very special day in his life and I wanted to go on a little shopping blackout at Tiffany's for him (which is about half of what he deserves) but since that wasn't feasible, I'll just say, "Felix, my Felix, I love you and who, really, would I be without you."
                          Felix...                                                                       ...and Me                            


jason said...

Well, I'll be! The things I learn!
Such a wonderful post.

I'm not sure which is cooler, however...the pants or that caddy.
I'm going to go with the caddy, however. :)

savannah said...

damn, sugar, that was just too beautiful a tribute to a friend! xoxox

Ask the Cool Cookie said...

I'm going for the jeans. The jeans are cool. Painted demin never made it to Columbus, but if they did, they wouldn't be as cool as those jeans.

And a lovely tribute to Mr. Allen. Its good to read (from someone I trust) that there are good things and good people in Hollywoodland.

And Mr. Allen, if you reading this, it is a pleasure to meet you, not because of the "public persona", but because its always nice to make new acquaintances!

Dean said...

Sweet. Nice to know Chad Allen is not just a vapid hottie (sorry, we do have our crushes). That's also a great quote from your wise friend. Definitely words to live by.

normadesmond said...

just lovely.

hey, i just "sang" the felix theme in my head. did you have a bag of tricks?

FelixInHollywood said...

If you were to see my bag of tricks Norma, you'd "laugh so much your sides would ache; your heart would go pitter-pat."

normadesmond said...

"watching felix, the wonderful...."

yes, i like to watch.

mrpeenee said...

That is the sweetest post I've ever read, and the most accurate view of really great friendship. I think you're both very lucky, if only for avoiding Automotive Manslaughter.

Thombeau said...

What a totally sweet post. And...painted jeans!

TJB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TJB said...

Philip, what a wonderful, wonderful post. We truly are blessed when we can call at least one person our Best Friend. And, really, isn't that sort of the same thing as having one great love in our lifetime?

kabuki zero said...

Well. Isn't that touching. And quite heartfelt as well. Chad, if that is even your real name, congrats. Good for you. It's because I'm prettier, isn't it? One small birthday gaffe -and kicked to the curb is kabuki. Once again kabuki - like the cheese - stands alone. (sob gasp) As long as someone is happy, what more does kabuki need. I'll just sit on the floor in the dark, and wait for death. No No - really, I'm fine.

Stephen said...

I am so glad I posted about him without my knowing your history... I would have been too intimidated.
That was a beautiful post. Thank you.

Another time & another situation, I think I would have fallen for you.